The World Isn't Against You, It Just Doesn't Care

Wed Dec 16

stabbed in the back

Being Stabbed in the Back
Current mood:  crushed

Alright, I didn’t want it to come to this but because dave and dan won’t return my phone calls and because I found out why I was kicked out of the band via the blog on myspace I feel I must write this, if only for myself. I understand that some of it may seem petty, and those of you who truly know me know I don’t lower myself to this immaturity and stupid drama but when my “friends” batter my reputation like this I have no other choice.  First I’m going to dissect the blog dan wrote and then at the end offer my final view on the entire thing.

He talks about me not having a job, which is true, can’t deny that fact, but also can’t deny that Ive been out almost everyday for the last 3 months looking for a job.  Dan has a job because hes worked at the same place for the last 6 years or so and they’re ok with him taking off for tour. Dave works for his mom, who obviously is ok with him taking off for tour, White (whose been my friend for 11yrs until this) works for 7up (a job i got him) and requires the use of a vehicle, which I don’t have because I traded my sole source of transportation in for the AKIC Van.  I’ve had over 4 jobs since I joined AKIC because whenever I would go on tour I would get fired and find a new job when I came home. I can’t remember the last time I’ve bought something for myself, all money from all these jobs went into this band.

Dan also talks about making the van payment. Little does he mention that they wouldnt even have a van had it not been for me trading in my car for $7,000 plus $2,000 from my family. 

Dan then goes on to say that I’m holding them back from recording. I was told about recording 3 days before we went into the studio.  How is someone suppose to come up with $600 in 3 days? White’s parents gave him his money, but we’re all not so fortunate. Also, I was initially told by Dan and Dave recording was going to be half of what we ended up being charged.  Nor did they give me any warning or even talk to me about coming up with the money before being kicked out.

Dan also talks about me not pitching in for buying merch. NO ONE PITCHED IN FOR MERCH, Dave’s mother gave them the money for merch, which I was more than thankful for.

Dan proceeds to talk about me struggling to make it out to practice cause I was so “poor”.  I dare him to name ONE time I missed practice. Whenever they told me we were practicing I was there. Mr. Christopher White on the other hand had to be begged and guilt tripped into 50% of practices that he had to drive 20 mins to. I also dare dave, dan, and white to name one time white contributed to the band besides showing up to a show or practice. I’ve given my life for the past 4 years to this band.

Dan then talks about my ability as a bassist. If ONCE anyone from the band told me, “hey you need to get better or we’re going to have to find someone else” I would understand and do whatever what was in my power to solve the problem. And I play my bass everyday, ask him where it is now.

I’m not going to waste my breath on this anymore.   In the end I was stabbed in the back by who I thought were my best friends for the last four years of my life, I would do anything for any of them and they know that. But in the end all I got was a phone call out of the blue saying I’m out of the band with no explanation and no chance to explain myself. They then post a blog stating I contributed nothing to the band  (if one of them contributed more than $9,000 to this with the van alone please let me know) and saying its nobodies fault but mine.  Never once did they sit me down and talk to me about this, and never once in my life have i felt so betrayed and so hurt.  I lost 4 best friends with a phone call, and no matter what happens nothing will make up for that. 

I’m can’t tell you how sorry I am to make this dramatic, I didn’t even want to write a blog,  but because they slandered me and left me no way to rebuttal besides this (they won’t even return my phone calls)  I had no other choice. This will be the last thing I say on the subject. I thank all of you who have supported me the last few days, it means more than you can ever know.

Thu Feb 19

We’re broke as fuck, but we can’t complain…

Being home after on and off touring for a while is no funzo…at least when I’m not home, I’m having fun and not reminded everyday of how broke I really am.  I don’t even know what to write on this…at least i put forth an effort

ps - we’re playing a dance party at mojoes that day after hometown throwdown, no originals just 6 dance covers..haha should be interesting

Sun Feb 15
I’m all lovesick for endless broken white lines.
And I say to all the young wild ones,
For you,
Yeah on your way up,
The world isn’t against you, my dear, it just doesn’t care.
Modern Life Is War
This is what I live for…drove through the night after a show in Florida to make it to the coast for this.

This is what I live for…drove through the night after a show in Florida to make it to the coast for this.